Self-control is an important part of a balanced life. If you don’t have control of Self, you will inevitably be controlled by outside forces, including the whims of happenstance.
One of the reasons why so many people feel out of sorts and stressed out is because they are not in control of themselves.
If you vibrate at a low frequency, you will blame outside circumstances and other people for these feelings of stress and drama. The reality is however that these feelings arise due to lack of self-control, both in terms of thoughts as well as emotions.
By controlling the Self, you begin to see life for what it really is and can better appreciate it.
Those who lack self-control see random events and other people as the enemy. They are always fighting against what they perceive to be a never-ending litany of “problems.” These so-called problems can manifest as random events, people they don’t agree with, and even work-related tasks.
In fact, anything that has to do with taking personal responsibility tends to manifest as a “problem,” because if you lack self-control you also lack responsibility, in most cases.
It’s important that if you want to grow as a person, that you understand the importance of self-control. Impulsivity is an ego-reaction based on menial stimuli.
In other words, “acting out,” emotionalism, thoughtlessness, and outbursts are all indicators that you lack awareness, and thus any capacity to enjoy life.
Self-control enables you to feel fulfilled and rooted to reality, instead of being caught up in the riptide of emotions and the whims of the ego.
Why Meditation is An Effective Self-Control Tool
When you stop to engage in meditation, you are grounding your Self in the Now. This is an awareness exercise, that kindles the flame of self-control.
You need control in order to meditate, if even for a moment. Because by definition meditation is an exercise of awareness, even a moment of practicing it forces you to have to utilize self-control.
Meditation and mastery of Self go hand-in-hand. In terms of discipline and controlling your own body and mind, it has been used for centuries for this purpose.
Among its many other benefits, you can always rely on meditation to reel in your spark of awareness to the present moment. Doing so is an act of self-control in and of itself.
Basic Self-Control Meditation
Being able to control your Self is one of the most rewarding skills you can cultivate. That feeling of not knowing where you belong or what you are doing in life just evaporates. No one can mess around with your emotions, your thoughts stop running around and souring your moods, and in general you enjoy a much greater quality of life.
It’s worth it to begin meditating specifically to learn self-control.
This simple meditation was developed to train control of your thoughts and emotions so as to better understand your Self and reduce the presence of the ego.
Keep in mind that as long as your ego has a foothold in your mind, you will never be completely in control of your Self. As long as there is anger you are holding on to, regrets, hangups, or other parts of you that are locked away because of past traumas, your ego will ultimately call the shots in certain situations.
Meditation not only helps bring your awareness to the present, it also helps reduce your ego, thereby returning mental and emotional control to You.
- Start by finding a comfortable location where you can sit cross-legged or in the Lotus position. For this meditation specifically, sensory deprivation is important. Try and meditate in as dark a location as possible, with as little audio interference as possible. Wear comfortable, snug clothing that doesn’t pinch or distract you in any way.
- Close your eyes and breathe evenly through your nose. Sit with your back straight and your hands in your lap. If your mind wanders, gently return to the present by focusing on the breath.
- Think of the last time you were upset or angry for any reason. Whether or not you think you were justified in your emotion is besides the point. Select a recent occurrence, especially one that you regret or that “hurt” you.
- Reenact this scene between you and the other person or people as if you were a bystander and it was happening a few feet from you. Use visualization to see the event unfolding before your eyes.
- If you lose focus, use your breathing to draw your Self back to the present and start over. You want to play out the whole scene as if you are there, observing it.
- As you “watch” your imagined self play out this drama, remain stoic. If you feel your Self associating with any of the thoughts and emotions, remind your Self that they have nothing to do with you. It all pertains to the figures you are watching, and nothing more.
- Play through the scene, remaining calm. Smile in the face of whatever is going on. Whenever negative thoughts or emotions well up, gently allow them to pass.
- If necessary, speak aloud, “this has nothing to do with me.”
- End your meditation with at least ten minutes of gentle breathing, making sure to expand your diaphragm fully with each breath.
What this exercise seeks to accomplish is to slowly remind your Self that you and your thoughts and emotions are separate entities.
Self-control is the conscious awareness of your Self and your ability to “arbitrate” thought and emotion as needed. Let’s break down what we are dealing with in terms of mental and emotional stimuli, and why drawing a line between them is so important for life balance.
- Willpower: Directives or impulses forged by your Self.
- Thoughts: Memories or information stored in the brain and dredged up (called) by the power of Will to the surface of your consciousness.
- Emotions: The mental-physical effect of “feeling” what a thought “means.” Can also be interpreted as “experiencing” the “essence” of a thought-form.
The only part of this that is You is your willpower. Everything else are electro-chemical and etheric sensations interpreted by the brain and “felt” throughout the body as signals.
When you lack control over your thoughts and emotions, you are letting the stimuli interface control you instead of the other way around. We are biologically / astrally designed to “experience” thoughts and emotions “at will” through awareness of Self.
This is why those who are awakened try and tell emotionally distraught individuals that “you can control your emotions.”
Either You are in control, or you are giving that control away freely in exchange for servitude to your emotions and thoughts. Either way, the ball is still in your court.
Through meditation, you can re-train your force of Will to once again screen thoughts and emotions for viability. You do not have to experience thoughts you don’t want to experience, and likewise you don’t have to act on them either.
Self-control gives You back your ability to enjoy life, experience it on your terms, and filter out all of the negativity and dross that is floating around us. This leads to a far more fulfilled life, because everything you think and feel is Yours, and not the after-effects of your ego.
Continue to practice this meditation and you will grow in both awareness and inner peace.
The founder of Digital Sages, Matt has an extensive background in self-mastery and has authored several books on the subject. His goal is to demystify important esoteric subjects and help people transform their lives through self-awareness and personal empowerment.