The key to overcoming fear boils down to right thinking. You have to be willing to release your fears manually, because they’re not simply going to vanish on their own.
One of the most important aspects of reclaiming your peace is through practicing personal responsibility. This isn’t exactly a popular subject, because it calls out our current culture of weakness and attachment.
Ask yourself if you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions. There is no magical force that will take away your fears or make you feel better. Ultimately it is up to you to find peace and fulfillment in your life.
The popular approach to fear is that it is something that just happens to us, and we must deal with it. Fear stalks around like a hungry lion, coming and going as it pleases. Your limitations and shortcomings are not yours to control: they are the product of any number of outside factors, including the people around you.
Beliefs like this keep people in perpetual chains.
If you want to reclaim your peace and live fearlessly, you must take responsibility for your thoughts and emotions. This includes your fears.
Yes, you are responsible for the fears you experience.
This might be hard to hear, especially if you are a product of the “I have a right to my opinion, my emotions are valid” crowd. But rest assured, your own insistence on identifying with your emotions is what is keeping you in bondage.
To release these fears, you must come to terms with why they are being generated in the first place. Whenever a fear is present, a belief of the ego is not far behind.
This guide will outline a few basic steps for overcoming your fears once and for all, but it will require you to work on your Self.
Approach Your Fears Through Mind, Not Emotion
To reclaim your peace, you have to be willing to work from a place of mindfulness. Mind is both the key and the door.
There is a high likelihood that up until now, you’ve filtered much of your life experiences through a lens of emotion. When you allow your Self to be led by emotion, imbalances set in.
Emotion is meant to supplement our understanding of life, not dominate it. This toxic emotionalism eventually leads to distortions and irrationality, or an otherwise miserable life.
This is because emotion was never meant to be a dominant force for interpreting sensory input, only a guide toward understanding of Self.
So your first task if you want to overcome fear is to become more analytical in your understanding of these fears.
Your limitations should be studied, not ran from.
As is often the case, fear is tied to a network of toxic impulses, including anger, jealousy, resentment, narcissism, self-loathing, and hate. Of course, all of these states are borne of emotion, not logic.
You must decode your own impulses using your mind as a tool.
Ask yourself, how often have you solved a problem using your mind? If I had to guess, many times.
Now ask yourself, how often have you solved a problem using emotion? In all likelihood, never.
Emotion was never meant to be used as a tool to decode what happens around you. This is a recipe for disaster.
Every time an outside event sparks toxic emotions within you, you are misusing your emotional body. To put it another way, the connection between your mind, body, and emotions has been disrupted by the presence of an overdeveloped ego.
The ego, when allowed to overdevelop, will create a fear response to anything that it perceives as a threat to its identity. Most “fear” is the product of an out-of-control ego trying to defend itself.
To take back control, you must react mentally rather than emotionally. Make a conscious effort to filter everything through the mind first, rather than being attached to things emotionally.
This will naturally lead to a reduction of fear as the ego is deconstructed. The ego relies on emotional stimulation for validation. When this “power source” is taken away, the ego is starved and begins to dissolve.
Make Decisions That Increase Peace of Mind
Peace of mind isn’t something that just happens to you if you’re in the right place or get a decent enough job. This is a huge misconception that too many people fall for.
Life isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you create, moment to moment.
To that end, peace of mind is something you have to actively cultivate.
Not only is it your responsibility to create your own peace of mind, it’s also your job not to let other people “take it away.”
I always find that saying hilarious, because it reveals a startling level of weak-mindedness.
You’ll never be happy if you allow other people to determine YOUR emotions.
No one can make you “feel” anything. No one can “steal” your peace of mind.
You are the one allowing your peace of mind to disappear. You are the one controlling your emotions.
Emotion by definition is hyper-personal, meaning that it arises and exists from you, by you, and for you. It’s a feedback system of your energy body, designed to help guide your experiences and interpret your thoughts on a level that bridges the gap between energy and physicality.
No one has purview or dominion over your emotions but you. If you “feel” something you don’t want to feel, you’re effectively a slave to your own ego. You are not in control of your own body or mind. You’ve gone rogue.
If you have ever found your Self in this kind of situation, you must actively begin making decisions that increase your peace of mind.
Remember, you have to cultivate peace. It’s no one else’s job.
Think about the choices you make every day, and analyze whether they are feeding your peace or taking it away.
Everything from the largest life decisions to the smallest minute-by-minute choices all play a role in how we cultivate peace in our daily lives.
What you decide to cook for dinner, what time you leave for work in the morning, how much money you save every paycheck. All of these things play a role in how happy, fulfilled, and content you are. Remember, it’s not other people and their actions that are causing you fear and distress.
It’s your choices and your reactions that are causing you fear and distress.
Also keep in mind that “reactions” are all choices. How you react in a given situation can either feed your peace or steal it.
Everything falls on your shoulders. If you aren’t at peace, it’s because you aren’t allowing peace into your life. It’s that simple.
You might protest and give any number of reasons why your life is a chaotic mess and that it’s “not your fault.”
Whether it is your fault or not has no meaning. What is that doing for your peace?
Act like it is your fault, own it, and move on. Feed your peace by releasing your attachment to being perfect and trying to control people around you or the outcomes of happenstance.
It will never happen. You can’t control what happens around you like that. It’s just not how the laws of reality work.
Allow Yourself to Be Free
Above all else, you must allow yourself to be free if you want to experience freedom.
Sounds simple, and it is, but so many of us screw this part up.
Think about the way your limiting thoughts keep you from experiencing freedom.
In some instances, you may not even believe you deserve freedom. You might believe that fulfillment and peace is a lofty goal that can only be obtained through decades of hard work and aggravation, and that in the meantime all you can do is suck it up and drag yourself through a field of metaphorical broken glass every day until you reach this mythological point in time.
Understand that this is all an illusion. There will never be a magical time where you suddenly wake up with the “right” house, the “right” partner, the “right” numbers in your bank account.
You better believe there are people in this world that have millions in the bank and a wonderful spouse that are absolutely miserable and feel as though life is out to get them.
Just as there are people that have been in prison for a decade that wake up every morning with a smile on their face, genuinely thankful for everything they have.
When was the last time you were thankful for what you have? You have to stop expecting life to conform to what you want and instead freely accept what is. In this way will you know peace.
True freedom is obtained when you are no longer suffering from hundreds of attachments.
These attachments are stifling you, limiting you, poisoning you in so many ways. They are born of fear.
Fear creates the impulse to want to micro-manage and control everything around you. The expectation of what people will do and say around you, the expectations of government officials, of your boss, of your landlord. The expectations of how people should treat you. Even the expectations of your own thoughts and feelings.
You are creating the walls of your own prison cell every time you give into your fears by creating expectations.
No one can take these expectations away for you. It is you who must let them ago and allow yourself to experience freedom.
Fear will naturally dissipate when you make a conscious effort to release attachment and approach everything from a calm, logical standpoint.
In time, you will heal and reclaim your peace.
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Are you interested in eradicating all fear and limitation in your life?
Fearless Living will teach you how to take full control of your life. Eradicate your fears, erase your attachments, and wake up to a happier and healthier you.
The founder of Digital Sages, Matt has an extensive background in self-mastery and has authored several books on the subject. His goal is to demystify important esoteric subjects and help people transform their lives through self-awareness and personal empowerment.